


Love Like This

by curlsgetdemgurls



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M, Heartache, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-07-23 04:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlsgetdemgurls/pseuds/curlsgetdemgurls
Summary: The story of Sam and Caitriona... from the beginning... to the end.





	1. silver in the sunlight

**_Los Angeles, 2018_ **

It started out innocently enough, as most work romances do. But they were different, _Sam and Caitriona._ They spent hours together everyday, and more often than not, those hours were spent kissing or barely clothed. It was inevitable, _the sex, the love_ — the burning passion that lived within them both separately had to come together at some point. 

Just a matter of timing. 

Caitriona sat in her hotel, anxiously avoiding her phone on the other side of the room. She’d left Sam a rather pitiful message, one that she regretted as soon as the words left her lips and found their way into his voicemail. 

“Fuck,” she said to herself. It wasn’t like her to act before thinking — _usually._ With Sam, all bets were off, he drove her absolutely wild. Cait hadn’t been the same since the day she met him, sweat covering her brow, running in late to her audition. In her gut, she felt that she had gotten the part, that the producers had loved her interpretation of Claire. 

Something else in her gut told her that Sam was someone different, someone so unlike all the men she had known before. As she thought back to that day ( _of course her mind drifted there from time to time_ ), if only to figure out where they’d gone so wrong, Cait wished that night at the bar had never happened… but it did. 

++++++

**_Los Angeles, 2013_ **

“Two whiskies please,” Cait told the bartender, nervously gazing over to _him_ sitting in a booth. Sam Heughan. She had never seen him in anything before, but she had an inkling that this role would open doors for him. What she _really_ hoped was that she got this part and that it opened doors for her too. 

She carried their drinks back through the crowd, careful not to spill any on the floor or herself. Sam took both whiskies from her as she slid in the booth opposite him. “Nice choice of drink,” he grinned, raising his glass, “Sláinte.” 

“Sláinte,” Cait repeated, at once feeling comfortable with him. She’d already realized just how at ease he made her feel and if she was being honest with herself… she found him incredibly attractive. Under the dim lighting, sitting in the back of a crowded bar, she watched him drink his whisky and couldn’t help the electricity that pulsed through her veins. Only one sip in, but her blood was on fire, and the heat of his gaze went straight to the pit of her stomach, making her wet underneath her dress. 

“So how do you really think it went?” Cait asked when he came back with their second round of drinks. 

“Listen,” he started, “I’ve tested with a few other actresses, some well known and others, like yourself, not as well known.” She waited for him to continue, but he was teasing her, pushing her to wait, be patient — which was not one of Cait’s strongest attributes. 

“You were by far the best, and I mean it.” He finally said, smiling and raising his glass to clink against hers. “If they don’t give you the role, I’ll be verra surprised.” 

Cait picked up on the fact that the more he drank the more his accent snuck through. He said he was born in Scotland, but lived in London for awhile, hence his mixture of an accent. She on the other hand, was through and through an Irish girl, something he remarked on when they first met. 

“Hopefully they do,” she smiled in return. 

The entire evening Cait had to stop herself from staring at his lips — wondering what they would taste like. It was just attraction, nothing more than that she told herself. 

“When do you go back to Scotland?” Cait asked him as they left the bar in the direction of his hotel. 

“Tomorrow,” he sighed, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. 

“Quick trip to L.A. then,” she stumbled on an uneven crack in the sidewalk, nearly falling over _(she was slightly intoxicated_ ), but Sam was fast as lightning, catching her around the waist, holding her steady. 

“Clumsy,” Cait laughed, a shiver ran down her spine at the feeling of his hands on her body. The electricity found it’s way back into her veins. 

“Drunk,” Sam corrected, only making her laugh harder. They started walking again, but he kept one arm firmly around her waist — _to hold her upright, of course._

“Perhaps I am, but I’m still standing. It’s my legs that give first,” Cait said and this was confirmed a few minutes later as her right leg gave out under her, making her stumble into Sam. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” she laughed at herself, mostly for behaving like this with a man she’d just met and might be working with. 

“Don’t worry,” he rolled his r’s, which didn’t help with the jello like feel of her legs. “I’ve got you.” 

She should have seen it coming really, _that first kiss_. Mix in nerves with alcohol and Cait knew she was reckless, especially when it came to men. Looking back, she was glad it was only just a kiss _(a hot one)_ , but that it led to nothing more that first time. Because if she hadn’t gotten the part… if she had sex with Sam, and then never saw him again…

She would have gone mad with wanting, crazy with thinking of him and the what ifs. 

His lips were soft against hers, and the stubble on his cheek scratchy on her cheek. Sam was more drunk than he let on, and she could feel the professional wall he’d had up at the audition come crumbling down. They stood near his hotel, but out of the way of people walking by. Cait leaned against his body, letting him know it was okay _(she wanted more),_ and he responded by sliding both his hands around her waist. 

She couldn’t help but gasp against his mouth when she felt him, hard and almost throbbing with want. Sam made a deep noise from within his chest, making her think he wanted it almost as bad as she did. But not _here_ … _not like this._

In the end, she had been the one to pull away first, awkwardly pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. “Sorry,” she muttered to which he offered his own half assed apologies. Neither of them was sorry about what had just happened, but they couldn’t admit it, not back then. 

They said goodbye that night, on a street in L.A., not knowing if it would be the last time they saw each other _(both hoping it wouldn’t)_.

Fast forward six months, and life for Caitriona felt like a dream. Living in Scotland was something she never imagined she would love, but after spending time here, getting to know it as her new home… she’d fallen in love. 

In more ways than one _(but she didn’t admit that until much later)_. Her first week in Scotland, with a brief trip to London for preparation before they started shooting, had been a whirlwind. Now she had curly hair, and was getting rather good at riding a horse. 

Her friendship with Sam was the most unexpected thing of all. Sure, they had gotten along that day in L.A., but after that kiss… Cait was nervous to see him again _(worried about her job)_. But he had been nothing but respectful, not even mentioning their kiss, let alone implying there would be more of that. 

They had enough to focus on, with their lines, Cait’s everyday battle with an 18th century corset and Sam’s Gaelic lessons — worrying about that kiss was not something either of them could think about. 

When she did though… the heat of it burned on her lips again, and the shock of his touch went straight to the pit of her belly. That’s why it was inevitable… _that first time._

Their friendship was strong, it moved quickly because it had to. There needed to be a certain level of trust with each other on long shoot days. Fourteen hours, sometimes more, spent outside in the drizzling rain or on horseback, it was grueling. Cait was shocked that Sam hadn’t tried to kiss her again, even when they spent so many late nights together or even hanging out at one of their apartment’s. 

Maybe he didn’t want to kiss her again, he was just drunk and that was the only reason he had. 

They found themselves in a bubble. Separated from the rest of the world in the highlands of Scotland and in studios, Sam and Cait formed a strong bond that seemed unbreakable. Cait was aware that the books were popular, but the buzz about the show was only beginning. Season one was full of magic, as cheesy as that sounded, and the scenery around her only heightened the filming experience. 

As they often did during shooting, Sam and Cait would sit and talk, waiting for the camera to be set up for the next scene. 

“Do you ever want to get married, Balfe?” Sam asked her, gazing down at his phone. 

Caught off guard, Cait didn’t answer at first. “One day, yes I would.” 

“Me too,” Sam smiled, looking up at her. “I’m sure the right person will come along one day, sweep you off your feet.” 

“Just like Jamie Fraser,” Cait laughed, mocking him. 

“Aye, maybe _just_ like Jamie.” Sam smirked. 

“Ridiculous,” Cait mumbled, still slightly laughing. 

“How’s fat Eddie?” Sam asked. 

“She’s not fat!” Cait slapped him playfully on the arm, “But she’s good, I miss her so much. Damn customs.” 

“She’ll be here soon, then I get to meet her in person and not just see pictures,” He laughed. “Hopefully I’ll be able to carry her.” 

“With your big muscles of course you can,” Cait mocked him, squeezing his arm. “Mr up at 4am in the gym.” 

“I’ve got to keep fit for the part babe,” Sam laughed. 

“We’re ready for you both,” the director said and they both stood from their chairs and set up for the scene. 

+++++

When she got to set one day, her heart was racing. Of course, Cait knew what she was signing up for when she auditioned for _Outlander._ Her publicist had told her about the reputation of the books, the sex and nudity that would ultimately be part of her job. 

She quickly found out that tv shows don’t always film in order for certain reasons, scheduling and location being a main one. They’d just had the read through for episode nine, which was way out of order considering they hadn’t even filmed the episode with Jamie and Claire’s wedding. 

Her cheeks had blushed furiously as she read the lines back and forth with Sam, sitting around the table with Maril, Matt, and multiple other cast members and producers. Cait reminded herself that it wasn’t real, and it wouldn’t be sexy either _(at least not to film)._ Although, she’d already made up her mind not to wear the damn modesty patch for the scene, it was so uncomfortable and as long as Sam wore his own modesty pouch, they’d be fine. 

_Or so she thought._

The sex scene was scheduled for the end of the week, and Sam and her had already had a conversation about trusting one another. They both agreed to give it everything they had, to hold nothing back. But everyday, Cait’s stomached flipped whenever she saw him, even when she was supposed to be angry as Claire after he spanked her… Cait felt ashamed for the wetness between her legs at the end of that day. 

“Trust me, Cait.” Sam said, giving her a hug before they started shooting the scene. 

“I do, of course. As long as you trust me,” she winked, letting go of him reluctantly so they could set up the scene. 

Afterwards, Cait would be left aching, her belly on fire and her skin tingling with electricity. It ended up being several hours that Cait and Sam were naked in that room, rolling on top of each other, getting carpet burns on their backs and asses. The thing that shocked her though, wasn’t by how much she wanted Sam… but by how she could tell he wanted her just as badly. 

His cock was hard as she ground her hips again and again on top of him, she felt bad for him almost _(almost)_. There was no way either of them could have come while filming, not with all the starting and stopping, the switching of angles. But it was enough to leave her wanting, and certainly enough to leave Sam with an erection. 

It _would be_ that night, at Caitriona’s apartment, after filming their first sex scene of the show… they would make love for the first time. Of course, back then it had just been sex and nothing more. 

++++++

The studio had arranged Cait’s accommodations, it was a decent sized apartment with several bedrooms, and it had come fully furnished. Her and Sam had bonded here over dinner after late nights of shooting when both of their stomachs were growling. Cait had suggested that he come over to her place that night to eat, even offering to cook for once, but he brushed her off, saying he had other plans. 

_Christ,_ she thought, if this is how it’s going to be after we film a sex scene, then maybe this won’t be as enjoyable as she thought it would be. 

Not feeling inspired enough to cook for one, Cait had called and ordered Chinese food. So when a knock came from her door, Cait assumed it was the delivery man. But it wasn’t…

“Sam, what are you doing here?” She said, slightly breathless at the sight of him. “I thought you had other plans.”

He looked sheepishly up at her, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, “Aye, I did, but… can I come in Cait?”

“Of course,” she stepped aside to let him in, closing and locking the door behind her. 

“So what’s up?” Cait asked as they both took a seat on her couch. She could sense it, even then, the power rippling through his body. 

“Just wanted to see ya,” he smiled. 

“I’m sure that’s not all,” Cait laughed, “you don’t just show up to my apartment at 9pm because you want to see me.” 

“I can do whatever I want, Balfe.” Sam held her gaze. 

“Then tell me why you came here, Sam.” Cait practically begged. 

Sam didn’t speak at first, his attention was focused on an invisible thread on the couch. “I came here tonight…” he started, but then lost his nerve. 

“Spit it out, Heughan.” Cait nudged his knee with her foot. 

“Once I say it, we can’t go back, Cait.” Sam looked up then, finally meeting her stare. It was right then that she knew he would be in her bed, fucking her all through the night. 

“Say it…” she whispered, unable to tear her eyes away. 

“I want to fuck you, Caitriona.” He said bluntly, “I want to hear you moan and come around my cock, begging for it to never end.” 

She felt her stomach tighten. “Then do it, God… do it, Sam ple-“

He was there, kissing her, tasting her lips. This time they weren’t drunk, and that only made it harder. To admit that they wanted this with sober minds. Sam wasn’t being gentle, but neither was she. 

“Jesus, Cait.” Sam sighed as he pressed his body against hers, making her lean back against the couch, her legs pinned underneath him. “I’ve wanted this since that kiss in L.A.” 

“Me too,” she kissed him roughly, anxious to take his clothes off and see him fully. “After today though,” she pushed him off her slightly, staring into his eyes. 

“This is just sex, right? We can do that, can’t we?” He said, moving his thumb in a slow circle at her waist. 

Nodding, she pushed him backwards on the couch, straddling his hips in an instant. He was already hard, just like he’d been earlier while they filmed but this time Cait could do something about it. Her fingers ached with wanting to touch him, feel the throbbing of his cock in her hand. He hissed between his teeth when she reached down into his pants and palmed him over his briefs. “ _Fuck me_ ,” he leaned his head back on the side of the couch. 

“I’m trying,” Cait chuckled, giving his dick a firm squeeze, making him buck his hips against her. She pulled her hand out, and instead pushed her hips against him, feeling his bulge on her pussy through her jeans. 

“Take these off,” he panted, already unzipping them and tugging them around her ass. His palm covered her pussy seconds later, applying a pressure so sweet, Cait couldn’t help but buck her hips against his hand. 

It wasn’t enough, though — to touch each other like this. Sam’s hands cupped her ass, squeezing it roughly before hooking his thumbs into her panties and sliding them down to her knees. He lifted slightly to pull his briefs down, but they were too in a hurry to completely undress. 

As Cait shifted positions, Sam’s face came close to her pussy, and he grabbed her hips, holding her in place. “Shit!” Cait cried out at the first flick of his tongue on her clit. It felt so good, the lightning branch in her nipples traveling through her stomach and down to meet his tongue. 

Her hand found the back of his head, begging him to keep going _(to never stop touching her)._ Sam didn’t let up — he licked her lips, tasting her for the first time and with every roll of her hips, it only encouraged him. But he couldn’t ignore the strain on his cock, twitching at the sound of Cait’s moans as she came in his mouth. 

“Fuck me, Sam. Please,” she begged, all while moving her hips down, guiding his cock inside of her. 

“Oh my God,” they both said at the same time. Laughing, Cait captured Sam’s bottom lip between her teeth, hungry for as much of him as she could get. His hands were on her ass, his face pressed against her chest and she moved her hips up and down. 

The only sound in the room was the the sliding wet noise of his cock sliding in and out of her dripping pussy. Each thrust was like an explosion waiting to be set off in her stomach. And when Sam moved his mouth over her nipple, still covered by the thin cotton of her camisole, she lost it _(her composure, her heart, her fucking mind)._

“That’s it, Cait, don’t think.” Sam urged, and she didn’t think. Not of the way he was making her feel, not of the way her heart burned with wanting him in every way humanly possible. This was just sex and who knew if this would happen again. So Cait arched her back, letting the waves of her orgasm wrack her body. 

“Shit shit shit shit,” she cried out, pulling at the hair on the back of Sam’s neck, and she felt his cock twitch inside of her as he came. 

Their breath was mixed together, bodies still tingling with the sensation of their climaxes. Carefully, Cait moved up, and Sam’s cock came out of her pussy, almost weeping for her. Her juices were slick in between her legs, so instead of pulling up her panties, she slid them off her ankles, letting them fall beside the couch. 

“I had no idea,” Sam panted, “it would be like _that.”_

“You mean, you thought about it?” She asked, trying not to look at his cock between his legs _(but it was impossible)._

“I’ve thought about fucking you since the day I met you,” Sam laughed, as if it wasn’t what he thought about every. single. day. 

At the word ‘fucking’, Cait tried not to cringe. While of course, she had agreed that it was only just sex between them, Cait couldn’t help but hope maybe…

“So is once all you’ve got in you?” Cait bucked up, and stood from the couch, removing her camisole in one fluid motion. 

“Christ, no.” Sam grinned _(that dumb curl of his lips)._

She walked in the direction of her room, looking over shoulder at Sam, still sitting mouth open on the couch with his pants around his ankles. “Hurry up, Heughan.” 

++++++

**_Los Angeles, 2018_ **

At some point while Cait was trying not to look at her phone, she’d fallen asleep on the bed, with tv on low volume of a cooking show. The small clock on the side table told her it was 11pm, damn it… she’d slept for two hours. 

That mean though, that it was 8am in Cape Town, and Sam should have heard her voicemail. She knew she would have to look at her phone eventually so she slowly rose from the bed, and with every step closer to her phone _(to him)_ , she felt her heart break each time. 

“Balfe, you fucking idiot,” she said out loud. They had just spent a week together in South Africa, and it had been exactly what they needed _(to escape from the hell that was their lives)._ While Sam had worked only a few hours out of the week, the days were spent hiking and eating good food. Cait had only gotten back three days ago to return to filming her own new movie in L.A. 

It was when she slid her engagement ring over her finger, sitting on the plane, waiting to exit, that she felt something crumble within her. 

She knew what people said, she read the tweets and the posts about how they didn’t believe she was actually with Tony. And she wasn’t… _not really._ He was a good friend, that was all he ever really could be in the end. Her heart belonged to Sam _(along with her thoughts and body)._ But he wasn’t safe, he was off limits. 

That’s the conclusion they had come to a couple of years ago when they tried to make it work yet again. But time after time, they wound up in bed together, or lying breathless on the floor of her apartment, unable to take back their words and actions. 

She didn’t want to be a cheater, and when she tried to justify it each and every damn time it happened, Cait was reminded that she didn’t have to marry Tony. It didn’t have to end in “I do’s”. All it would take was her telling him she couldn’t marry him, giving back the ring and moving forward with her life. 

But if she couldn’t be with Sam… if they couldn’t make things work, really and truly work… then why should she leave Tony?

Cait had called Sam when she got back to the hotel that evening, knowing he would already be asleep _(it was safer that way, at least that’s what she thought)._ When the beep of the voicemail sounded, she wasn’t too sure why she had even called him. 

But then when she looked down at her ring on her left hand, she broke down over the phone. Crying and sniffing like a little child. She told Sam that it had all been a mistake, her coming to South Africa, but what she really meant was that _they_ had been a mistake. 

“We keep doing this Sam, and it only ends in disaster.” She had said into the phone, “I’m engaged for Christ’s sake! I know you don’t want to hear it, and this is all my fault for leading you on but we have to stop. Stop sleeping together, stop flirting with each other all the time.” She paused then, letting the tears continue to fall silently. 

“Sam… you’re the one who said we couldn’t be together. It wasn’t me this time around so don’t get mad at me for trying to make my real relationship work okay?” She thought about taking it all back, telling him she was drunk and to forget the whole thing but she didn’t. Instead she hung up and crawled into bed, where she managed to avoid Sam until this very moment. 

She nearly dropped the phone when it started buzzing in her hand, the caller ID lighting up with Sam’s name and picture. 

Her finger pressed answer before her mind could object and she heard Sam on the other end, “Cait…” 

“Yes,” she replied. 

“What the hell was that voicemail all about?” He sounded out of breath, most likely just back from being at the gym. 

“Sam I -“ she started but he cut her off. 

“You really want to stop this?” He asked. 

What she was going to say was that she regretted sending that message and that she was sorry, but hearing the hurt in his voice, for some reason made her feel good. Like it wasn’t her this time that was the only one hurting. So she closed her heart off. 

“We have to. We have years ahead of us working on the show, I’m engaged to be married and you’re busy enough doing… everything it is that you do.” She said. 

“You know I’d drop it all for you,” he said softly. She did know, God did she. 

“I’m sorry, Sam.” Cait heard him take a deep breath on the other end, “We need to move on with our lives, at least let me _try_ to see if I can.” 

“If that’s what you want,” he said coldly. “Goodbye, Caitriona.” 

He hung up, leaving her shattered in a hotel room. It was her decision to stop, but it wasn’t what she really wanted. Truth be told, she had felt insecure being with Sam, like she could never measure up, no matter how many times he told her she was beautiful. The last year had changed her, hardened her heart. Caitriona was no longer the person she once was and now without Sam, she wasn’t sure she would ever be that person again. 


	2. you light up my whole heart

**_Scotland 2014_ **

There are a million ways to say ‘I love you’ without actually uttering those three words. A text message that asks if you made it home okay or with a hug after shooting a tough scene. With every wink across craft services, Sam was saying ‘I love you’ to Cait. Of course they loved each other, as best friends do and they said ‘I love you’, almost every day. But it meant something else entirely when it was said with complete honesty. When someone’s heart was laid out on the line. 

That night at Caitriona’s apartment, Sam hadn’t slept at all. Holding Cait in his arms, feeling the softness of her skin and watching how deeply she slept… it took everything in him not to wake her up and tell her how he really felt. That he had come to her apartment, yes to have sex with her, but he didn’t want it to be _just_ sex. 

Sam wanted all of her, everything that made Caitriona who she was. He wanted to capture the sound of her laugh in his mouth as he pressed his lips to hers. To claim her and hold her against his body anytime he wanted. Caitriona lit up his whole heart in a way that shook him to the core. 

But it was him who said it was just sex, something casual. He knew Cait would be professional, she would be smart about it. He was already regretting those words to have it be nothing more than mindless fucking. 

He left the next morning, kissing a drowsy Cait on the forehead and walked home with a cloudy and confused heart. 

They only had a couple more months of filming left for the season, and then it would be out there for all the world to see. Sam would be lying to himself if he said the look of love that Jamie gives Claire wasn’t just the look of love he had for Cait. His heart was there on his face, plain as day. And with only more sex scenes in the future of the show, Sam wasn’t sure how he would be able to stop his heart from beating fast every time he saw her. Or how he would stop his cock from getting hard at the touch of her skin on his. 

Even in a crowded room, Sam only saw Cait. The way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, and graceful movements of her body. He knew she’d been a model, and had even looked at some of the work she had done one night with her. 

Sam walked into his own apartment, flinging the keys on the kitchen counter, and sat on the couch with a deep sigh. Those four walls of Cait’s bedroom were now a secret box. Only opened when the other had an insatiable desire. 

++++++

Caitriona woke up slowly, her limbs heavy and her body aching, but for what exactly? Her arms reached out over the sheets in search for Sam, but they came up empty. Sitting up, Cait looked around her room and saw no sign of him. 

“Sam?” She said, walking into her living room, but his clothes weren’t there on the floor. 

So, last night _had_ only been about the sex. 

But Cait couldn’t brush off the feeling that it’d been more than that. She had woken twice in the middle of the night, and found herself wrapped in Sam’s arm, her head on his chest. The first time, she thought he was asleep, and so she closed her eyes and drifted off. The second time, she heard him whispering things against her hair. Cait tried not to move or stop the even breathing of her chest to alert him that she was awake. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Cait heard him whisper and couldn’t help the small smile that crept on her lips. Of course he would be saying that… he was holding her naked body against his. 

The next three words she heard made her heart stop. He said, “I love you,” and she heard how fast his heart was beating inside his chest. Cait kept her eyes closed, unsure what to do. She ended up falling asleep, thinking about those dangerous three words. 

She walked into her kitchen, grabbing a slice of bread and popping it into the toaster. How could Sam say those words and then disappear on her this morning. Of course, she would see him at work tomorrow, there was no way to avoid each other. 

Not that she wanted to avoid him. _Not at all._

Cait ate her toast and sipped her coffee that morning, reliving the night before. With every touch of his hands or thrust from his hips, she had yielded to him, letting him take control. 

What she wanted was to call him and ask him to come over. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t just sex, it was more than that. Maybe some people could separate their hearts and bodies but Cait wasn’t one of those. And clearly, neither was Sam, no matter what he had told her. 

There would be no easy way through this, someone was bound to get hurt. Was it a risk Cait was willing to take though?

“Well fuck,” she whispered as she felt her heart constrict. Cait loved him, mind, body and soul, she loved him. 

++++++

The truth and depths of their feelings wouldn’t be revealed for another month, the night of Sam’s birthday. They spent that day on a mountain top, drenched from head to toe sitting on a picnic blanket. For Sam, that was one of the best birthday’s of his life, partly because it was the first one he spent with Caitriona, and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 

No matter the weather, no matter the scene, him and Cait always had fun together. She made it bearable, the long hours — because with her there, everything was just as it should be. 

There was no way of knowing if it would be this way with another actress — if Cait hadn’t got the part. Sam didn’t think it would, their connection was so strong, so tangible. 

“We’re still going out tonight, right?” Caitriona asked him, sitting in her makeup chair at the end of the day. 

“I think so, yeah.” He smiled. A few people from the cast had suggested going to get drinks to celebrate his birthday. While Sam was grateful for the company of his workmates who had grown to become friends, he really just wanted to spend time with Cait. 

“Don’t drink too many, Heughan. Still have to work tomorrow,” she laughed the most delicious laugh, and Sam wanted to pull her into his lap and kiss her. But he couldn’t. _He wouldn’t._

“Oh, I’ll be fine, Balfe. It’s you we should be worrying about. I ken you can handle your liquor, but who’s going to carry you home at the end of the night?” Sam laughed, wiping his face from the dirt of outside. 

“Well if you’re not too sloshed, then you could do the job just fine.” Cait grinned, looking over at him through hooded lashes. 

_Christ, her lips._

Sam would be able to control himself around her if it wasn’t for her lips. And her legs, and hands, and tits… _all of her._

“Aye, maybe it’ll be you carrying me home,” he laughed then and stood, if only to shake himself of the need to reach out and stroke his thumb against her cheek. They were very affectionate with one another, and they had no problem showing that around the cast and crew. But what Sam wanted to do to Cait… wasn’t something that could be done in public. 

Instead of getting into separate cars, the group that was going out for drinks all piled into one car and headed for a bar near the city. The night was crisp for a late April evening, but it was also Scotland. Sam slid his around around Cait’s shoulder as they walked into the bar — it was dark and crowded, reminding him of that one night in LA last year. 

All throughout the night, Sam would purposefully bump his knee or arm against Cait, anything to feel her, know she was there beside him. He was probably drinking too much, but it was his birthday so he gave himself a free pass. 

“What about you, Cait?” Maril asked and Sam turned to look at her. 

“What about me?” Cait said, taking a sip of her drink. 

“Well, you’ve been here about seven months, have you met anyone? I know work is _a lot,_ ” Maril laughed and raised her eyebrows. 

Caitriona blushed, and Sam felt his stomach tighten. He’d never even considered the possibility of her being with someone else. He watched her carefully, noticing the flush of red on her chest, and the way she shifted in her seat, uncrossing and crossing her ankles. 

“Um, no. I haven’t met anyone,” she said at last and Sam let out a small breath. 

“I mean I’ve met someone,” she corrected, “but I don’t think it’s going to work. Things are… complicated.” Cait smiled to Maril, and then looked up at him, holding his gaze. _Was she talking about him?_

“Well you’ll meet someone, I’m sure of it,” Maril smiled, “You’re a catch.” 

A few more questions to the group about who they were seeing and drinks in between, but Sam couldn’t stop thinking about what Cait had said. _“Things are… complicated.”_ Christ, when were they not? 

When Tobias suggested another round of drinks, everyone cheered yes and he rose to grab drinks from the bar. Cait stood up from the table though, “I’m sorry to be ditching, but I’m afraid I’m falling asleep. Been a long day,” she smiled warmly. 

Sam didn’t want her to go, and even though it was _his_ birthday, he stood up beside her. “I’ll make sure you get home alright.” 

“Ah mate, leaving early on your own birthday?” Tobias smirked, but he thought he saw a gleam of mischief in his eyes. 

“Aye, we’ve both got work tomorrow.” He raised his eyebrows and everyone laughed. They all had work tomorrow in fact, and Sam knew he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight if Cait’s words had any truth in them. 

“You ready?” He asked her, and she slipped on her jacket, nodding. They waved goodbye to the group and headed out the door. 

Sam got an odd feeling of deja vu as they left the bar and started walking back to Cait’s apartment. It had been a night like this when they had first kissed. And that night, Sam hadn’t wanted it to ever end. 

“Did you have a good birthday?” Cait asked as they turned a corner. 

“Aye, it was one of the best birthday’s I’ve ever had.” He smiled. 

“Really?” She looked over at him, her arms wrapped around her chest. “Even though it was bloody freezing and we were sitting in the rain the whole day?”

Sam nodded, “That’s what made it good. It was just a normal day, but I had you to share it with.” 

“We spend most days together,” she replied, barely a whisper. 

“Yeah, we do.” He said and they were silent the rest of the walk to her apartment. 

As he stood at her door, all Sam wanted to do was grab her hand and place it to his fast beating heart. He wanted her to know how he felt, the whole truth. Feelings and alcohol were always a messy mix. 

“Thanks for walking me home, Sam.” Cait smiled and leaned in, kissing him on the cheek. She lingered just a bit too long, and so Sam took his chance and turned his head, pausing only a moment, his lips hovering over hers. 

Then she melted against him instantly, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him her mouth. He thought he made a cry of relief when he tasted her tongue on his, slightly warm with the whisky. 

“Come inside?” Cait pulled back, her hand on her doorknob. Sam nodded, following her in. 

His arms were around her waist the moment the door closed, and he pressed her back until she was against a wall. They were both drunk, he knew they shouldn’t be doing this. But he didn’t care, he wanted her. 

Cait kissed him roughly, with a hunger he’d never seen in her before. Her hands went to his belt and he bucked his hips against hers, trapping her hands. Winding his hands through herhair, he pulled back her neck, sucking on the exposed skin there, pulsing with her heartbeat. 

“Sam,” she moaned. 

“I love you, Cait.” He sighed against her neck and pulled back, looking into her blue eyes. _Shit._ She had to have known he didn’t mean it as her best friend… but he meant it with the hope of something more, something deeper. 

She only stared back at him, not moving. Sam didn’t realize it, but the moment she said, “I love you, too”, he had been holding his breath — waiting for his world to burn. 

With her back to the wall, Sam slid his hands down her sides, feeling every inch of her curves. “You love me,” he said it as a fact, not a question. 

Suddenly shy, Cait pressed her lips against hers and mumbled something like, “Yes.” 

He didn’t want to wait for her to take back the words, so he lifted her leg around his waist and pressed his hips against her. Cait kissed him, resuming her work at removing his belt and unzipping his pants. 

With a desperate ache to be inside of her, he helped push down his pants and boxers, pulling out his cock. Thank God she had been wearing a skirt, and he slid his hands up her skirt and moaned against her lips when he realized she wasn’t wearing panties. Holding onto her leg with one hand, he pushed his cock inside of her. 

“Yes, I love you,” Cait cried out, pressing her forehead against his. “ _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou_ ,” she repeated over and over again and he thrust forward. He grabbed her other leg, pulling it over his hip and pinned her to the wall. 

“I love _you_.” He groaned, sighing as his mouth said the words his heart had been begging to say for months.


	3. nothing else could matter in our life

**_Scotland 2014_ **

Once those three sacred words had been said out loud, it was all Caitriona wanted to say. That night as they laid in bed, arms wrapped around each other, hands tracing patterns along skin, Sam and Cait promised each other that they would make this work, no matter how difficult it might be. It would be _worth it._

“What if… things don’t end the way we want them to?” Cait voiced her fears to Sam as she tapped her fingers slowly against his bare hip. 

Sam made a humming noise in his throat before answering her. “Then we act professional, because we’ve a job to do.” He half smiled, and placed his fingers under her chin to make her look up at him. “But I’m countin’ on this to work out, Balfe. It’s everything I’ve thought about since the day I met you.”

Her chest almost caved in then and there from the look of such devotion he was giving her. Caitriona had always suspected that Sam had feelings for her, deeper feelings that he wasn’t exactly admitting. _Turns out she’d been right._

“Would you be able to do that? Work a job with an ex?” Cait asked, unable to push away the doubts in the back of her mind. 

“I… think I could. But I’ve never done it before, so I dinna really know,” Sam leaned his forehead against hers. “Enough with the negative, Cait. It took us this long to finally admit how we feel, let’s not ruin it before it even begins, aye?” 

She laughed, and let her head fall back against the pillow. Sam’s fingers traced around her lips, and she tasted herself on him. Her legs reflexively clenched together as he moved his hand over her neck. 

“You really want to do this?” She asked, arching her back slightly. 

“Aye, don’t you?” He smiled, leaning down and kissing her softly before continuing to move his fingers lightly across her chest. 

“I’m… scared.” She couldn’t tell him that she was scared to lose him, that it would burn up as quickly as it began. She couldn’t _(wouldn’t)_ tell him that she was terrified of being with someone like him; strong, ridiculously good looking, charming… someone that saw who she was and wanted her anyway. 

“It’s you and me in this together, Balfe. You don’t need to be scared,” Sam traced his fingers in the valley between her breasts. “Of course, we should probably keep it low-key, do ye think?”

Cait nodded her head slowly, almost not hearing his words as his fingers circled around her nipples. He was driving her crazy and he knew it. 

“We have to. For the sake of the show… for the sake of our — relationship.” She said with a smile, and cupped Sam’s cheek and pulled him down to her for a kiss. “We’ll keep it just between us.” 

“Aye, I can agree to that,” Sam smirked as he watched Cait’s eyes flutter as his fingers pressed down on her hardened nipples. “I love watchin’ ye, Cait.” She opened her eyes to see him staring down at her. Biting her bottom lip, she spread her legs and then looked down at his hand on her chest. 

“Can you show me?” Sam asked, looking into her eyes. 

“Show you what?” Cait said, moving her eyes slowly back up to his deep blue eyes. 

“How ye like it?” He grinned and then blushed all at once. 

“You want me to…” 

“Yes… please.”

Caitriona brought her legs up so her knees pointed upwards and spread her thighs. Sam was still looking at her face, but with one hand she turned his cheek so he looked down at her body. With her other hand she traced slowly around one nipple, twisting it slightly and pinching it. 

Moans left her mouth and she didn’t hold back; if he wanted her to show him…

Sam’s hand rested on the side of her hip, a constant source of heat. Once both her nipples were hard and nearly swollen, she continued to slide her hand across the flat plane of her stomach and shivered as the light touch made her skin prickle. 

Cait had touched herself before of course, but never with someone watching like Sam was. She looked up at his face and it was truly like he was studying what she was doing, his brows creased in concentration. She would have laughed if it wasn’t for what she saw when she let her eyes drop between his legs. He was rock hard and she didn’t know how much longer he would last. 

When her fingers touched the lips of her pussy, she groaned at the wetness that was already there, they moved easily across the slippery lips. Sam had now moved his head closer and was resting it on her knee, staring intently down at what her hand was doing between her thighs. 

With a clear view of her own hand and Sam’s studious face, Caitriona dipped two fingers inside of her slit. Sam’s lips were slightly open and she watched his tongue dart out and lick them. Oh how she wanted those lips on her right now. 

Her stomach tightened as she began to move her two fingers in and out of her pussy, feeling the slickness and tightness. She didn’t realize her eyes had even closed but gasped when she felt Sam’s mouth on her breast. Cradling his head to her chest, Cait moaned and arched her back up into his mouth. 

It took everything in her to keep moving her fingers, all she wanted was Sam. “I need you inside of me, fuck.” She sighed and he shook his head, pulling off her breast with a popping noise. 

“No… this is about you,” he grinned and then pressed his tongue flat against her nipple. 

“Jesus,” she breathed and with Sam’s hand on top of hers, urging her to go deeper inside of herself, she came and cried out his name over and over again. Cait had never experienced anything like it in all of her life, and lay trembling on the bed, wondering how she had lived without Sam for so long. 

++++++

They managed to fall asleep, reluctantly on both their parts — neither were eager to go to work the next day and pretend they weren’t more than friends. It was what they had agreed on, and it was what they thought would work best. It didn’t mean they couldn’t hug and cuddle as they always did on set when they were tired or hang out together when they weren’t working. It just meant that they would keep some things to themselves. 

When Cait’s alarm went off that morning, she sighed, hitting the snooze button and rolled over to face Sam. She nearly jumped off the bed when she saw two blue eyes staring back at her. “Damn it!” 

He laughed, and then slid his hand over her hip, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been awake for awhile.” 

“Could you not sleep?” She asked, scooting closer to him in the bed. 

“I did for a few hours, but I found myself thinking about what you said earlier… about if it didn’t work out.” 

“And did you come to a conclusion?” 

“Aye, I did.” He said and then smiled. 

“Well… do tell.” Cait grinned and pressed her thumb against his cheek. 

“There’s a chance it couldn’t work, of course there is, like with any relationship. But I don’t want to dwell on the ‘what ifs’ when I’ve got the most amazing, incredible, beautiful woman in my arms right now. I want this to work and so… it will.” He said simply, as if saying it made it true. 

“That’s that then,” she chuckled. “Sounds like a good plan to me, Heughan. We won’t dwell on what could happen, but instead we’ll dwell on what is.”

Sam kissed her thoroughly on the lips and then pulled back, “We’ve got to be headed to work in an hour and I need a coffee and a shower… in the reverse order.” 

“I can make you coffee while you get in the shower,” Cait smiled and started to get out of bed. 

Sam grabbed her arm and pulled her back into his chest, “I was actually hoping you would um, join me in the shower.” 

“Hmmm, after all,” she slid her hand over his stomach and between his legs, taking hold of his semi-hard cock, “You never got any relief after watching me last night. Wouldn’t want you to get black balls.” 

“I believe the term is blue balls, Cait.” He laughed and then groaned as her hand shifted on him. 

“What’s the difference really?” She bit her lip and then pulled away, this time managing to get out of bed before he could pull her down again. Cait walked over to the bathroom door and stood with her back to him and then turned her head, “Coming?” 

“God yes,” Sam said and followed her to the shower. 

++++++

Mornings like that, and mornings that were filled with yawns and pots of coffee filled the next months of their lives. Sam and Cait became a formidable team. Even though they spent hours together on set and their time in between takes together, when they finally got home, all they wanted was to be in each others arms. 

On August 9th, 2014, their show — all their hard work was out there for the world to see. And if people paid close attention, they would see that as the love between Jamie and Claire grew, so did the love between Sam and Caitriona. 

They had each others backs throughout the whole process, through every interview and photoshoot. Sam would be lying to himself if he said he wanted to keep their relationship a secret. He wanted the world to know how incredible Cait was, and how she made him feel. 

It was a rainy Sunday in September — they both had the day off. Caitriona was lying on the couch, feet stretched out, Eddie sitting on her stomach and a good book in her hands. Sam walked from the kitchen, carrying two hot cups of tea and stopped at the end of the couch just to look at her. Cait was wearing her glasses, as was he, and Sam couldn’t help but smile as he watched her push them back up the bridge of her nose. 

“What?” She asked, peering up at him over her book. 

“Nothing,” he smiled and came to sit beside her. She lifted her feet, placing them in his lap and reached out to take her cup of tea. “You just look so cute in your glasses.” 

“I could say the same thing about you, Roland.” She laughed, cheeks blushing from the butterflies he still gave her. 

“We’re just two verra blind people, aren’t we?” 

“Yes,” she smirked, “Indeed we are.” Cait set her hot tea on the coffee table, along with her book and when she moved, Eddie jumped off the couch to find a surface that would stay still. 

“Put that down,” Cait pointed to his tea as she started to crawl over to Sam.

“No…” he took a sip. “I’m drinkin’ my tea.” 

“Oh,” Cait paused, sitting on her knees and stared up at him. “So you don’t want me to kiss you?”

“I’m good thanks,” Sam smirked and looked over at Cait through his foggy lenses. She was sitting on her knees, one hand sliding over his thigh, and a pouty lip. This woman would be the death of him. “Get over here, Balfe!” Sam laughed and thankfully got the cup of tea out of the way before she pounced on him. 

He gathered her in his arms, squeezing her and placing quick kisses all over her face. Cait screeched and tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he only held her tighter, holding her across his body. Sam looked down at her, running a finger lightly over her lips and then she yelped when his glasses slid off his face and hit her. 

“Fuck!” Cait covered her nose with her hand, applying pressure where they had hit. 

“Shit, Cait. I’m so sorry,” he said sincerely, but started to laugh watching her rub her nose. 

“Don’t you dare….” She started to giggle, “Laugh.” 

Sam picked up his glasses, sliding them back in place and bent his head, kissing the sore spot. “I’m sorry, babe. Who knew kissing could be so dangerous?”

“I’ll get you back for that,” Cait smiled, shifting so that her bum rested on his lap and she pressed her face into his neck, breathing him in. Sam smelled like lemons, fresh and clean with a hint of laundry detergent. She moved her hand to the nape of his neck, tugging at the curls there and Sam leaned his head back against the couch. Caitriona placed her mouth on the side of his neck, lightly sucking. 

“Are ye trying to give me a hickey, woman?” Sam chuckled and then moaned as she flicked her tongue. 

Her mouth made a sort of wet smacking noise and she nodded, her nose bumping against his skin. 

“That’s goin’ to leave a mark, Cait.” Sam sighed, moving his hand slowly over the swell of her hip. 

She pulled back, licking her lips. “That’s what I hoped for, hon.” 

“Christ,” Sam laughed and she pushed his head to the side and placed her lips back on his neck. Once she had Sam moaning, and felt his erection pressing up against her, she pulled back, looking at her handy work. 

“That’ll do.” She touched the wet spot with her fingers, “You’ll need the makeup girls to help you cover that tomorrow.” 

Sam looked over at her, rolling his eyes. “You can explain to them why I’ve got a hickey on my neck, thank ye very much.” 

“I can’t!” She laughed, biting her lip. “We’re supposed to be secret right?”

Sam pushed a curl behind her ear, “Balfe… do you really think anyone on that damn set hasn’t figured out what we’re doing?”

Letting her head fall back against his arm, she sighed. “I know. Everyone probably knows… I just, I’ve never dated a co-star before, I don’t know how this is supposed to work.” 

“Neither do I, Cait. I don’t have the rule book that tells me how to navigate all of this. Work and personal life… it’s all a bit messy, isn’t it?”

Caitriona stared at him through her glasses on the tip of her nose, and shut one eye. “You’ve got some freckles on your cheeks.” 

Smirking, Sam touched his fingers lightly on her cheeks, “So have you, Balfe. Don’t change the subject please…” 

“Sorry,” she said softly. For Cait, it was always hard to talk about relationships, no matter how she felt for Sam, she didn’t know if she would ever be ready to have it out in the world that she was dating the man she simulated sex with on a tv show. She was nervous that people wouldn’t take them seriously, their acting or their relationship. But as she looked into Sam’s eyes, she saw how badly he wanted to shout it from the rooftops. “I’m sorry I don’t want to tell people, Sam.” 

He pulled her against him, kissing her gently. “It’s okay, Cait. It is. We’ve been together for only five months. I mean we’ve been sleeping together for a little bit longer than that,” he blushed. “But we can take all the time you need, okay? As long as I have you, I’ve got the world.” 

Cait pushed her hand against his mouth, “You’re so cheesy,” She giggled. 

Sam put his arm under her knees, gathering her to his chest and bent his head, blowing a fat, wet, and juicy raspberry against her neck — only making Caitriona dissolve into more giggles. 

++++++

Try as they might to hide their relationship, and keep it just between them — the flirty looks, tweets and public displays of affection weren’t helping matters. They both knew the show had steamy sex scenes and it was part of their job to talk about it, but Cait couldn’t stop giggling like an idiot when she got asked about whether or not they’d watched the wedding episode of Claire and Jamie. 

In fact, they had watched that episode together, and gotten rip roaring drunk in the process. And as Sam said… whisky leads to sex. 

A relationship is built on friendship and trust, and Sam and Cait grew to become best friends. They knew everything about each other, and cared deeply for the other. Cait, however couldn’t help the nagging feeling of doubt in the back of her mind, _was it really going to work?_


	4. you'll be gone from my life

_** Scotland 2015 ** _

A lot can happen in the space of a year…

A child can be conceived and born nine months later, a couple can get engaged and married, and distance can grow between hearts that were meant to be bonded for life. 

The beginning of 2015 for Sam and Caitriona started out well and went along much like the previous year had. The second half of season one was airing in a few months and towards the end of the May they would start filming season two. 

As any couple, they went through ups and downs as they tried to navigate their relationship. Being in the spotlight wasn’t a helpful factor either. But they made it work the best they knew how. They decided to try and be as professional as possible when they were attending work events. 

However, sometimes it was hard for them. It seemed to be harder for Sam to control himself around Cait when all he wanted to do was tell the world she was his — to claim her. 

He especially felt this way on the night of their mid-season premiere in New York. 

The purple dress. That _damn purple dress_. 

It would be Sam’s undoing. The way it curved Caitriona’s body in all the right places, with a small slit at the bottom. And the top, Christ, the top barely covered her breasts. The black lace with thin black lines covering her chest left nothing to the imagination. As if Sam needed an excuse to imagine Cait without any clothes on. 

Cait had walked out of the bathroom, her hair and makeup done, in only black panties and one of his white shirts. The mid-season premiere was tonight and they needed to leave in twenty minutes. 

“Have you seen my shoes, babe?” 

Sam blinked several times, his gaze never leaving Cait’s mile long legs. “Um, no I havena seen them.” 

“You _havena,”_ Cait mocked him with a snort. Sam’s accent grew thicker the longer he spent in Scotland and even thicker when he was turned on — all control of his tongue was lost. 

Laughing, Sam cast his gaze towards the hotel closet, “They’re over there, Balfe.” 

She flashed her teeth at him and walked over to the closet, bending at the waist to pick up her shoes. 

“Don’t move,” Sam said quickly from his seat in the corner of the room where he had been waiting for her to finish getting ready. 

Cait turned her head, looking back at him over her shoulder. Her arse was in the air and with her legs spread just slightly, he could almost see her pink lips that he knew would be wet for him if he touched her there. 

“I’m going to get a crick in my back if I stay in this position,” she laughed and Sam felt his stomach twist at the sound. Screw the premiere, all he wanted was time alone with her, time to just _be._

With a mischievous look in his eyes, Sam rose from his chair and came to stand directly behind Cait, moving his hands on either side of her waist. Slowly he pushed up the white shirt until her breasts were exposed and he cupped them gently. 

“The things I could do to ye, Cait.” 

“Jesus,” she shuddered underneath his touch as his rough hands moved over her breasts, and her nipples stood at attention. “We don’t have time,” she started to stand back up, but he kept his hand on her lower back and pressed himself against her. He was hard and it was all because of her. Sam was wearing a light grey suit and if he wasn’t careful he would end up staining it. 

Just as Cait let out a deep moan and Sam slid his hand over her arse, a knock came from the door and they both jumped apart, breath ragged. 

“Shit,” Sam cursed under his breath and walked quickly to the bathroom, shutting himself in while Cait answered the door. 

Quickly pulling her shirt down, Cait looked through the peep hole before answering, letting her stylist come in. 

“Hi love,” she smiled. 

“Ready to get all dressed up?” Her stylist walked in with the dress bag and set it down on the bed. Inside was a beautiful long sleeved purple dress and the front was a bit see through — not that Cait minded. 

Once she was all zipped up, she took a final look in the mirror and her stylist deemed her practically perfect, leaving for the night. 

Caitriona slipped one high heel on at a time and then knocked on the bathroom door. 

“Is she gone?” Sam said quietly through the door. 

Cait tried to jiggle the handle but he had locked himself in. “Yes, she bloody is. Will you come out now?” She couldn’t help but laugh. 

Sam opened the door, a bashful grin on his face that changed to a look of complete desire when his eyes trailed down her body. 

“Fuck me,” he muttered and immediately picked up her hand and twirled her around. “When we get back after the premiere…” he lowered his gaze to the front of the dress — the see through bit and bit his bottom lip. “That dress isna stayin’ on verra long, Balfe.” 

“Oh is it not?” Cait smirked and before Sam’s hands could pull her against him, she picked up her purse from the front table and opened the door. “We better get this night over with as quick as possible then.” 

Groaning, Sam followed after her, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as they met the rest of the group downstairs in the lobby. How was he ever supposed to control himself around her tonight when she looked like _that?!_

++++++

The night had been fun, more than fun actually, but Cait kept thinking about Sam’s promise. The promise to take off her dress when they got back to the hotel and she blushed as she remembered Sam having a hard time walking on the red carpet tonight. 

She knew that when she chose this dress to wear tonight, it would drive him wild. And that was _exactly_ what she wanted. 

For the past few months, things had been going great, more than great with Sam. Caitriona had been filming on the movie _Money Monster_ and had just wrapped after they did the paleyfest in LA. That night had been another spectacular evening when Cait couldn’t stop giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

She had never felt like this with anyone. Giddy. Bubbly. _In love._

The way Sam looked at her, or smiled at her when she caught him staring made every cell in her body come alive in a way she had never experienced. 

Now they had just said goodbye to the rest of the cast and were on the way back to their room and Sam was looking at her from across the elevator. Even though they were alone, he stood facing her, his eyes watchful. Caitriona could see his jaw tensing as his eyes flicked over her chest yet again. 

Cait couldn’t help but let out a small whimper as she looked down and saw his cock straining against his trousers. 

They remained silent as they walked down the hall to their room and Sam still didn’t touch her. All she wanted was his hands on her body, everywhere and nowhere all at once. She wanted his tongue on her… in her, covering her with his mouth in all the right spots that made her tick. 

With the final latch of the door, Caitriona turned around to face him in the middle of the room. 

“Well?”

Sam smirked, clicking his tongue and then his hands were at his tie, undoing it and pulling it free from around his neck. 

“Ye tortured me tonight Cait,” he said and he walked behind her, one hand trailing down her arm, taking it in his large hand. “I could barely think straight with ye lookin’ like ye did.” She shivered as his breath tickled the back of her neck. 

“I wanted to take ye right there, I didna ken about all those people,” he whispered in her ear and then took her other hand and she felt what must have been his tie around both of her wrists — fuck, he was tying her up. 

“I’m goin’ to have ye beggin’, Cait.” Sam moved her hair off of her neck and placed a soft, wet kiss to her skin, making every hair raise on her body. 

She nearly squealed when she suddenly felt his hands at her ankles and then she realized he wanted her to take off her shoes. Stepping out of them, she breathed a sigh of relief and flexed her toes instinctively. 

“Sam,” Cait tried to reach for him as he came to stand before her, but his tie on her wrists was strong. 

“Och, be patient, Caitriona.” He almost purred with joy he was getting out of this, seeing her struggle with being bound. It wasn’t the first time he had tied her up, but she had been thinking about this moment all night — _how long could she wait until she burst into flames?_

Sam held her gaze as he took a step back from her and slid out of his jacket, followed by his shoes and trousers. Then he folded them neatly on the chair near the tv and came to stand before her in only his boxers and button down. 

“Please kiss me,” she whispered as he took a slow step forward and she let out a sigh of relief as his hand settled on her waist. 

“I’m no goin’ to kiss ye until the very end,” he said this with his lips just inches away from hers and as she leaned forward, he pulled back with a deep chuckle. 

She stood there, barefoot, hands tied behind her back, still wearing that purple dress and Sam couldn’t decide where to start. Her breathing was coming up short from her arousal and Sam watched her chest heave. Moving his hand slowly up her small waist, he cupped her breast. 

The weight of it rested in his hand and he squeezed it firmly, feeling how hard her nipple was through the material. The dress gave anyone who was looking a perfect view of the teacup of her breasts and Sam had been staring at them all night long. 

Pushing her so that her legs hit the back of the bed, he kept one arm around her waist and held her up against him. 

“Yer all mine, Cait,” he smirked before leaning down and pressing his lips against the thin lace of her dress. It felt rough on his skin, but the soft velvet of the thin strips contrasted nicely and he opened his mouth, flicking his tongue against the hard bud through the material. 

“Oh God,” Cait let out a shaky breath and Sam looked up to see her staring down at him with a look almost akin to pain. He knew he was driving her crazy with not being able to touch him back. 

Sliding his hand along her back, Sam’s fingers found the zipper and he slid it down inch by inch, listening to the metal sound of the teeth coming apart. As he unzipped it, he continued to suck on her breasts through the dress, taking each in turn. 

Needing to taste her properly, he pulled back and then felt his cock harden at the sight of her. 

“Jesus, Cait.” Sam ran his fingers around the wet spot he had created with his spit on her dress. “It looks like your tits have leaked.” 

She laughed then, her shoulders shaking and looked down at herself. He was right, however foolish he sounded. Caitriona felt her stomach tighten at the thought of one day carrying his child and her laughter died on her lips, her eyes once again meeting his. 

“Take this damn dress off of me, Sam.” 

His hands were at her wrists, tugging quickly at the material and once it was off she went about shrugging her shoulders and arms out of the sleeves. Finally feeling free, her arms wrapped around Sam’s neck and she fell backwards onto the bed, bringing him down with her. 

“One day,” Sam kissed her neck, his fingers at the buttons of his shirt, pulling it off. “Yer belly will be filled with my child, Cait.” He straddled her hips, leaning up to tug the dress from around her arse and cursed when he saw she wasn’t wearing any panties. 

Giggling, Cait hooked her thumbs into his boxers and pulled on the material and his cock sprang free, pressing against his belly — that one maddening vein making Cait’s legs go numb. 

“And I’ll slide my hand over the curve of your stomach while we make love,” Sam threw the clothes off the bed, then took both her ankles in his hands, spreading her open. His eyes looked at her face for a long while, simply mesmerized at her beauty. How he had won her heart he would never understand. 

“How many children?” Caitriona laughed as Sam’s hands tickled behind her knees. 

His head lowered to kiss each breast, taking the nipple into his mouth. “As many as possible,” he smirked. Caitriona reached in between their bodies, taking his cock into her hand and rubbing her thumb on the head, feeling his pre-cum. Sam groaned, pressing his face into the crook of her neck and his hips held her down on the bed. 

“Please be rough, Sam,” Cait moved his length to her entrance, lining it up and pressed it against her clit. “I can take it… _I need it.”_

“Fuck, Balfe.” Sam kissed her then, not being able to resist her lips that spoke such things to him and he rolled his hips forward. Pushing as deep as he could, once he felt the back of her walls, he pulled almost all the way out before pushing hard into her. 

Caitriona held his body to hers, crying out with every thrust and ache in her body. She had never felt anything like this — this overpowering feeling of love that overtook her body when she was with Sam. He came to her so deeply and from the inside out she was his in every way. 

Not caring about her red lipstick, she urgently pressed her lips against his, desperate to taste his tongue on hers. Sam’s hand slid up and down her body, digging into her flesh and she arched her back off the bed, keening with every touch. 

“Oh God,” she panted, hooking her arm around his neck. 

“Caitriona,” Sam said against her lips, his body possessing her and she felt it. The feeling that no matter what happened with them, they would always find their way to each other. As Sam slid in and out of her agonizingly slowly, she felt how perfectly they fit and gave over to the sensations, calling out his name over and over on her lips. 

++++++

Time continued to pass by and as each day ended and a new one began, their love grew stronger. So strong that Sam wanted to do something about it. He wanted to show Cait just how much she meant to him — how much he believed in the future of them. 

On one of their rare days off, he drove them both out of the city. 

“Where are you taking me?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Sam smiled and placed his hand on Cait’s thigh, squeezing gently. He’d been planning this for months and was proud of himself for not spoiling it sooner. 

When they arrived at their destination, Cait climbed out of the car, a bit confused as to why they were in an open field. 

“Have you brought me here to murder me?” She laughed and looked over at Sam. 

“No,” Sam smiled, walking over to her and kissing her. “I’ve brought ye here because this place is the surprise. This land. I bought it.” 

“You bought all this land?” Cait asked, smiling as she looked out at the acres of empty land before her. They were standing along a wire fence, enjoying the breeze and the fresh air. 

“Aye, I did. One day, I’ll have a house over there,” Sam pointed over to the left where the perfect spot for a house was. “And maybe stables so we can have horses out here,” he added. 

“We?” Cait turned her head to look over at Sam. 

Scratching his neck, Sam’s ears turned pink, “Well, of course, Cait. I bought this place for us. Did you no’ know that?”

Her cheeks turned red and she buried her face into his chest. “I never thought…” 

“You’d have roots anywhere? I ken you’re a bit of a gypsy Cait, but you’re stuck with me.” 

She pulled back and looked out at the land again, smiling. “It’s so beautiful, Sam. I can picture it. Our life here one day. When it’s just us and the world doesn’t exist.” Cait then pulled out her phone and took a picture of what would one day be their home — she wanted to remember this moment forever. 

“Good idea, Balfe,” Sam grinned and took a nearly identical picture, immediately posting it to Instagram. “We don’t have to build a house now or anything, but the land is ours to do with as we please.” 

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Cait leaned against him and took a deep breath. For so long she had moved around from place to place, country to country, never really feeling like she had a proper home. Standing here with Sam, she found it. Her home. In his arms, she was just where she needed to be. 

“How about we grab some celebratory macarons on the way back?”

Sam raised his eyebrows, sticking it tongue out between his lips. “Mmm, I like the sound of that. And some celebratory champagne?”

“God yes,” Cait smiled and leaned up to kiss him, her fingers pulling at the hair on the nape of his neck. “Thank you… for this. It’s a lovely surprise.” 

“I hope you don’t think it’s too much or too soon?”

She shook her head, “No, it’s just right. It feels right.” 

Kissing her again, he lingered for a moment, just breathing in the air, pausing in that moment. Things were never simple for them, but he knew through all the pain and secrets that it was worth it — she was worth it. 

As they drove back home, stopping for macarons on the way, neither one of them could have imagined that after that blissful afternoon, heartache was just around the corner. 


End file.
